My Next Neurosurgery – Decompression

Sometimes when you’ve been waiting for something for quite a long time, it can come as a shock to the system when all of a sudden, D-day is hurtling towards you at speed. That’s certainly how I feel about my second brain surgery.

I received a call today from my Neurosurgeon’s registrar, offering me a date about 2 & a bit weeks from now (scheduled for 17th Nov 2017) to do my Decompression surgery. I had assumed that it wouldn’t be scheduled until after Christmas so was a little surprised to be offered a November date but honestly, I think this slightly unsettled, shocked feeling would have happened whenever the date was set.

This surgery has been on the cards for the last 18 months. Since assessing the results of my ICP Pressure Bolt monitoring in August 2016, the plan put in place by the Neurosurgery team has been to fit a VP Shunt to address the high pressure inside my skull, then move on to Decompression surgery about a year later. My shunt was fitted in January 2017 so we’re slightly ahead of schedule. 

This surgery is a bigger deal than my last one. It involves removing a part of the skull at the base and often some bone from the top of the spine, cutting through the dura and placing a patch that will act like a tent, provinding space for CSF (spinal fluid) to circulate properly, something that hasn’t been happening due the the blockage caused by my Chiari Malformation. I’ll link some reliable medical sources at the end of this post in case you want to learn more. 

I’m not going to lie about it – I’m anxious about this surgery and knowing me, I’ll remain so until I actually leave for the hospital bright & early on surgery day. In this regard, it might be a blessing that I’m not getting as much notice as people sometimes do for a long-planned surgery. I have already reached for my coping strategy – lists! The only way to take the edge off my anxiety is to be as organised and prepared as possible.

I know that this surgery has risks and these days, surgeons talk you through ALL of them in advance. I’ve been warned that the recovery can be long and gruelling. It is not a decision I’ve taken lightly but it’s a risk I have to take after decades of misdiagnoses, ineffective treatments and above all else, bloody awful, debilitating pain & symptoms. I have now become housebound and my quality of life is the worst it has ever been, so ‘wait and see’ is no longer an option. 

I’m so blessed to be facing this with my husband by my side; he shows me every single day what it is to be strong. My parents are there for us always and really put my mind at ease with regards to my daughter – while my husband is with me at the hospital, I’ll never have to worry about her feeling anxious or needing cuddles. Both my brother and my best friend will drop whatever they’re doing if I need them, despite the fact that I’ve largely shut them out whilst dealing with the worst of my illness in recent times. I know how lucky I am to have such support.

So, now it’s time to get going on my ‘getting ready for surgery’ lists and most importantly, getting my daughter used to the idea and making sure she knows how it will impact on her life in the short term. I’m doing this for her as much as for me; here’s hoping she’ll eventually end up with a more functional, less horizontal mum.

Kindra x

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Medical links:

Mayfield Chiari Centre – Decompression Surgery

Chiari & Syringomyelia Foundation – Chiari lecture
Mayfield Brain & Spine – Chiari Symptoms & Treatment Options

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Brain Surgery: My VP Shunt

{This post includes a photo of a stapled surgical incision}

When I was preparing myself for my VP (Ventricular Peritoneal) shunt surgery, I had a look via Google for any articles or blog posts that would give me some idea of what to expect. I was able to locate basic information on the surgery itself without difficulty. But personal experiences were harder to come by. So, two weeks after having my VP shunt fitted, I’m at home recovering and feel that it’s only right to create a post about my experience.

As you probably already know, the purpose of a VP shunt is to drain some of the excess fluid from the brain, thereby lowering the pressure inside the skull (I’m no medical expert so apologies in advance if my explanation isn’t spot on – I’ll recommend sources of medical info at the end of this post). In my case the pressure needed to be lowered both in the hope that it may help with some of my debilitating symptoms but primarily to facilitate future decompression surgery for my Chiari Malformation; my neurosurgeon felt that the high pressure increased the risks too much and therefore decided that a VP shunt had to be fitted before we move on to decompression. So, a VP shunt is placed in this way:

Including time in the anaesthetic room, recovery room and being moved around the hospital as needed, the whole thing took no more than 3 hours. I believe the surgery itself took somewhere between an hour and 90 minutes. There was some head pain when I awoke but it was  manageable with morphine (which I had to ask for dose by dose…what’s wrong with a good old fashioned morphine drip after surgery? Sigh.) I was of course tired but thankfully there was no post-anaesthetic throwing up on this occasion; always a bonus. 


(Me and my Shady pillow post surgery)

In addition to the incision at the back of my head, there was one on the right side of the abdomen. This made moving around a little tricky but I was able to shuffle to the bathroom etc within a few hours of waking up from the surgery. Overall I was surprised at how soon I was able to be discharged; I was only in hospital for 3 nights. Of course, had there been any signs of infection or misplacement of the shunt, I’d have been kept in for longer. Scans were taken on the morning after surgery to ensure that everything was where it should be; since my surgeon was happy with what he saw and I was managing the surgical pain with my usual painkillers, I was able to come home rather quickly.

If you’re facing the surgery yourself, you’ll probably want to know how the incision looks. Here’s mine:

The exact placement and size of the incision will depend on the clinical decisions and preferences of the surgeon; mine is at the back of my head, on the right. This was the first time I’d had staples as opposed to thread stitches after a surgery. It looks pretty grim but I didn’t find that they hurt any more that the thread type. Removal of the staples took place 10 days after surgery at my GP practice. The abdominal ones were easily removed. The head ones were more painful to get out, but I was able to breath through it. I found that the surgical pain, which had been waning, was exacerbated by the removal of the staples but I still found it manageable with my usual painkillers (which are, I admit, pretty strong).

It’s still early days in my VP shunt journey. I long to wash my hair! My recovery has been complicated by repeated kidney infections/kidney stone stuff (I’ve been admitted to hospital twice in last few weeks due to this – my kidneys have shockingly bad timing or perhaps they’re just mocking me) but I’m grateful that the recovery from my surgery is going smoothly so far. 

My advice to anyone who needs this surgery is to take it one step at a time and know that you WILL get through it. As is the case with all surgeries, managing the pain from the incisions is really important. When the pain is tolerable, it’s easier to be patient and calm during recovery. It’s important to make sure that when you are discharged to recover at home, you have all the medications you’ll need as well as a discharge letter that explains exactly what you’ve had done. Should you be unlucky and develop an infection once you’re home (signs to look out for include fever, vomiting, becoming disoriented, extreme head pain), this letter is very useful for handing to the person who deals with you at A&E. I’ve found that being prepared for all eventualities and having plenty of pain meds available, even if I turned out to need less than I expected, allowed me to relax and focus on my recovery. As I’m sure is the case with most people living with chronic pain, I’m usually as conservative as possible with pain meds. I’m not Superwoman though; I’m of the opinion that I’m as entitled to proper post surgery pain relief as someone who doesn’t live with pain on a daily basis. If you’re worried about surgical pain being added to the chronic pain you already deal with, speak to your surgeon and nurse before you go to theatre and put a plan in place re. what combination of meds will be available to you when you wake up. As it turned out, I found that I didn’t need morphine beyond 12 hours after surgery 👍🏼. 

If you or someone you love needs a VP shunt and you’re anxious about the surgery, feel free to get in touch. You can email me at chronicpaincockney@gmail.com or follow me on Twitter.

Wishing you good luck & happy days,

Kindra x 

Useful links: 

IIH UK Surgical Leaflet

Hydrocephalus Association: Shunts Overview

NHS Choices: Treating Hydrocephalus 

Johns Hopkins Medicine: Shunt Procedure

Chronic Life: A Moment of Gratitude 

Gratitude is, in my opinion, something that can only be genuinely felt when it comes from within. No amount of ‘it could be worse’ or ‘you should be grateful that..’ comments from other people will make me feel it. In fact, such comments from people who do not live with chronic daily pain are more likely to generate rage rather than gratitude on my part. 

This Christmas hasn’t been easy. I’m scheduled to have brain surgery on 25th January and a blood pressure problem has arisen, so we’ve working with my GP to try and address it in time for the surgery. I made it through Christmas Day itself with the use of meds and a nap mid way. The two days since however have seen me stuck in bed with agonising and very determined head pain. But there is so much that I’m grateful for, so I’d like to take a moment to articulate the things I have going for me.



My husband and daughter: My husband looks after me and my daughter without ever making me feel like a burden. I remember what it was like to live with someone who made me feel guilty about things I couldn’t control, so I know just how much of a difference it makes that my husband is truly strong; he is always on my side and there to keep me from despairing and giving up. Our daughter makes me happy just by being her funny, cheeky, lovely self. Seeing her as happy and confident as other children her age, despite my situation, lets me know that we’re doing something right. 

My family: my parents are always there to provide advice and practical support when we need it. They play a big role in my daughter’s life and it is very reassuring for me to know that she has another source of love and attention outside of our home. Other members of the family help me just by understanding my situation – they don’t get upset or angry with me for missing special occasions and are delighted on the rare occasions that I make an appearance. 

My friends: my best friend has remained in my corner all these years, even though I’m not much use on the socialising front (or the ‘being remotely normal’ front). She is always there if I need her and is firmly on my side, even when I’m irrational or struggling emotionally. She belongs in the family section really; if past lives are really a thing, we’ve definitely been through at least one life together before.

I’m grateful for the handful of friends who are always pleased to hear from me despite the fact that it can be AGES between calls or texts. That they haven’t given up on me is an amazing thing.

The Essentials: our two bedroom council flat in East London is a blessing in my eyes (though doubtless some people would look down on it). Finding somewhere affordable to live in London is  a nightmare so I’m truly grateful for our secure tenancy. We are a few minutes walk from my parents’ place, my daughter’s school, the park, my GP surgery and my favourite nail place💅🏻😊. When I applied for this flat I didn’t know that a few years later I’d become so ill and largely housebound but if I had known, this is exactly the location I’d have picked. The fact that we have some lovely neighbours is a bonus too. When I’m getting stressed because I’m too poorly to tidy up/clean as often as I’d like or decorate as I desperately want to, I remind myself that we have everything we need here. 

The NHS: the NHS isn’t perfect; you need to advocate for yourself and stay on top of the admin side of things, as it can be slow. However, I’m grateful that I have access to some of the country’s best neurosurgeons, not to mention my GP who I see regularly and the prescribed meds that I am not charged for. I dread to think what all my treatments over the years would cost if I had to pay for it from my own pocket. I’m also grateful that I don’t have to do battle with an insurance company to get access to treatments; I know this can be very stressful for spoonies in the US.

Benefits system: this one isn’t always easy to feel grateful for, as our current government seems determined to paint the sick and disabled as work shy freeloaders. The systems in place for processing claims from sick/disabled people are in desperate need of reform. I paid tax throughout the decade I was in teaching; I wish people could understand that becoming too sick to work can happen to anyone, including people who worked hard and loved their careers. I’m grateful for the help we receive to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table, but I wish that sick and disabled people didn’t have to fight so hard to get what they are entitled to. The system at present is designed to hinder access to entitlements rather than facilitate it. The stigma around being sick or disabled is absolutely stifling. Still, I’m grateful that we’re not in a Victorian work house kind of situation; but we do have a Tory government, so I probably shouldn’t speak too soon…

Looking back:  I remember what it was like to live with someone who made me feel guilty for being sick. I remember what it was like to struggle through work and feel constantly stressed when my boss hounded me about my sickness levels. I remember what it was like to struggle with rent that was ludicrously high and panicking that I’d lose my job and not be able to pay it at all. I remember when being stuck at home in terrible pain meant being alone for huge swathes of time. I remember the desperate struggle to appear ‘normal’ so that I could cling onto the career I’d worked so hard for.

It is because I can remember the times when I felt desperate and alone that I truly value the blessings in my life now. I did lose my career in the end but because of the other good things in my life, I was eventually able to cope with it. The pain can and does crush me underfoot but I know how much harder my life would be if I didn’t have the above mentioned blessings to cushion and support me.

What are you grateful for?

Wishing you good luck and happy days,

Kindra x

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Tweet me – @chroniccockney.

A New Nail Shape and Bargain Polish 

I’m something of a perfectionist when it comes to my nails. If they look shabby or the layer of acrylic has grown too far out, it bothers me. Way back before I became largely housebound, fitting in regular nail appointments around teaching and socialising wasn’t a big deal. Now of course, things are different. Weeks can go by when I’m not well enough to leave home and when I am, it’s only with the support of my husband and/or parents.

Nonetheless, getting my nails done remains a tiny and all too infrequent window into the person I used to be. No matter how sick I am, my nails looking nice gives me a little joy.

So, here’s how my nails look after my latest (and too long delayed) visit to my nail place. I’ve gone for an Almond shape rather than the square with slightly rounded edges shape I’ve been in the habit of getting for a long time.

I really like this shape. It elongates the fingers and strikes me as elegant. I find the sharp spike look that’s popular now to be too extreme for my taste but the Almond shape is somewhat softer. 

The polish I went for is the shade 04 Our Sweetest Day from Essence’s The Gel range. I love these little polishes; they apply and perform well and are a bargain at £1.60 each (available in the UK from Wilko online or in store). I chose to have 3 coats of this particular shade but generally 2 coats is sufficient with these polishes. They’re a great way to update your collection of colours each season without causing significant damage  your bank balance 😊.

What nail shape do you favour? Do you have a favourite brand for polishes? 

Wishing you good luck and happy days,

Kindra x

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Tweet me – @chroniccockney.

Note: this is not a sponsored post. All products discussed were purchased with my own money.

Mac Nutcracker Sweet Blush Highlight Compact

Every now and then, a limited edition product comes along that makes my eyes widen and I just HAVE to have it. In my own defence, this is actually quite rare; lots of limited edition products strike me as over hyped and all too often they aren’t going to work with my milk coloured skin. Plus, living with a chronic debilitating illness tends to do bad things to your disposal income. 

But when I saw this compact in the marketing ads/reviews for Mac’s Nutcracker Sweet collection, I fell in love. I was lucky enough to get it as an early Christmas gift – yay! It’s one of those products that really makes me look forward to the times when I’m well enough to put on makeup.

There were two versions of this compact available in the collection; I went for the Peach version which includes (unsurprisingly) a peachy pink shade of blush called At Dusk. The Copper version was super popular because it included the much loved Whisper of Gilt highlight but those shades just weren’t to my taste for my skin tone.

Both of these products are easy to wear and buildable. I don’t own many peachy tone blushes but have found that I really like it; it’s a soft and natural look that’s great for daytime. I found that is was just the right side of pigmented, meaning that the colour pay off is good but not so stark that one swipe needs endless blending to be wearable. The highlight is a lovely shade called Tutu that you don’t often see on the market, light but not stark or cold looking. Mac descibes it as a pale white peach. It works really well on my very fair skin tone. 

The packaging in this collection is adorable without being juvenile. I love the burgundy/purple and pink combination and the stitched detailing makes the whole thing feel a little luxurious. The detailing is repeated on the pans of product and makes using them for the first time a little sad! Mac have really got it right with this collection in my opinion.

I’m going to include a couple of pics of me wearing these products but bear in mind that I’m no expert at taking such photos – it looks great in real life! On that morning I was well enough to wear makeup but not well enough to remove shades in any kind of light; pretty typical of my rare ‘good hours’ these days.

The Nutcracker Sweet collection is well worth checking out. At the time of writing, this product was still available  online in the UK (yay!) along with some of the gorgeous lip and eye sets.

Did you buy anything from this collection? Have you spotted any other LE holiday products that you’ve fallen in love with?

Wishing you good luck and happy days,

Kindra x

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Note: this is not a sponsored post. All products discussed in this post were purchased with my own money.

Chronic Life: Online Support Groups

If you’re living with an invisible illness or disability, particularly one that limits your ability to get out of the house, then the chances are that you’ve found one or more online support groups to join. I myself am a member of a few and have set up my own small, closed group for people that live with Chronic Migraine, although all spoonies are welcome.

Finding and connecting with people who have first hand experience of your condition online can be very beneficial (check out my Online Friendships post). It helps to lessen the terrible isolation that can be the result of chronic illness shrinking your physical world. But today I’d like to share my experiences & thoughts of online support groups, the kind that are set up by spoonies for spoonies and are often medical condition specific. In no particular order, here are some things I’ve noticed:

Culture matters – when I was a teacher, I spent a period of time between permanent roles doing supply teaching. I found it to be an excellent way of getting to know local schools before committing to one, as I did after a few months (I walked into one school for 3 days supply and stayed 6 years😊). My first concern when sizing up a school was the culture at work there; how do the staff speak to pupils around the building? How do the children respond to a new face at school? What was the atmosphere like in the playground and dining room? The answers to these questions told me how I would fit in to this school and I’ve found the same to be true of support groups. How do people ‘speak’ to each other? If new people post, does anyone respond? Which leads me on to…

Competitive spoonies – if you’ve been a member of a number of support groups, chances are you’ve come across at least one person like this. They are the ones who jump in at any and every opportunity to point out the ways in which they have it tougher than you. Sometimes they actively ignore the point of a post or request for advice to carve out such an opportunity. It can be VERY irritating. Even when we all have the same diagnosis, an illness can impact on people differently and to varying extents. Just because I am no longer able to work and am largely housebound, I don’t feel the need to belittle the hardships faced by someone who is still able to work. Competing with each other to earn the dubious titles of Most Disabled or Most Miserable is a total waste of our already limited energy and when I see it in support groups, it completely switches off my interest in being a member.

How are treatment options discussed? It can be really useful to hear first hand accounts of specific treatments, especially if we’re worried because they are invasive or in some way out of our comfort zone. We want to know about side effects and the practicalities and logistics involved as well as the impact the treatment had. But you know what we never need to hear? “That surgeon you’re seeing is a total butcher, don’t see him!” or “I had that treatment and it was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life!! Didn’t help at all and everything is a million times worse now!” (These are real examples I’ve seen in support groups in response to a member asking if anyone else had had a specific surgery at a certain hospital). 
I’ve had treatments/investigative procedures done that didn’t work or that went wrong, but there’s a way to communicate useful information without freaking out other spoonies, who are more likely than the general population to be struggling with depression and/or anxiety as it is. For example, there was one stage of my ICP/Pressure Bolt Monitoring when things went badly, causing me to scream with pain. Rather than terrifying someone who is looking for info and advice on the procedure (which is the most reliable way of getting important info on how the pressure inside head is behaving), I prefer to advise them to ask for sedatives and pain meds to be on hand before this stage of the process is attempted. Surely that’s more useful than “Oh my God, getting the monitor out of my skull was a nightmare!! I screamed the place down! Don’t let them do the monitoring on you!” 

We’re all different – it’s not unusual for spoonies to have more than one diagnosis and we have all arrived at our current situation via our own unique journey. I think a good support group should be a space where we can share our experiences without judging each other. We (and indeed our individual specialists) may have different views on treatments, diagnostic criteria and pain management.  Judging each other and bossing each other about isn’t really helpful to anyone. 

Overall I think online support groups are a good thing and can be great sources of information and comfort. The key though is finding one that suits you and makes you feel better for having taken part, not worse. Remember that a lot of support groups tend to be frequented by those spoonies who are struggling the most; spoonies who are doing well as a result of treatments tend not to post so often, so don’t be overwhelmed and lose hope. Check out groups of different sizes and consider starting your own support group if you want to. I set up my own small closed group (Chronic Pain Cockney – Living with Daily Migraine) some time ago and while I’m not able to post as often as I’d like, it’s a supportive space for sharing articles and ideas on Chronic Life.

If you are not enjoying a particular group, leave it and don’t give it another thought. I have found that support groups set up by reputable charities are a good place to start if you’re  looking for your first support group to join. 

What do you think about online support groups? Do you find them helpful?

Wishing you good luck and happy days ,

Kindra x

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What My Migraine Was Hiding

{As ever with the Chronic Life series, I must point out that I’m not a doctor or medical expert, just a patient like any other. My thoughts and feelings are just that; medical advice should be sought from your specialist.}

Getting new additional diagnoses when you’ve lived with Migraine for most of your life is a strange and disorienting thing. Finding myself dealing with Neurosurgeons and having a hole drilled in my head to assess the pressure in there (see my ICP Monitoring post here) has been a dizzying experience both literally and figuratively.

Since the MRI I had back in January 2016, I’ve had to get to grips with two diagnoses that were completely new to me. The MRI itself showed that I have a Chiari Malformation Type 1 (click here for a brief explanation of what this type of Chiari is). I had no clue what that meant so had to spend some time finding reliable sources of information to educate myself before meeting with my Neurosurgeon…it’s now September and I feel like I’ve been to the surgeon’s clinic, the surgical ward and MRI department so often that the particular part of West London has become a familiar stamping ground for me & my husband. Fortunately it’s quite a pretty square so we’ve managed to do a little outdoors coffee drinking, in a busy part of London yet surrounded by trees, before/after appointments; you’ve got to take your little relaxing moments wherever you can find them when living  this Chronic Life! 

The next step was meeting with my Neurosurgeon. He recommended that I have ICP Monitoring rather than going straight for the decompression surgery that is the treatment (but sadly not a  cure) for Chiari. He wanted to know what the pressure inside my head was like.

As it turns out this was a good call on his part, as the pressure is high. Having analysed the readings from the monitoring procedure, the Neurosurgical team believe that what they’re seeing on my results is high pressure that isn’t being caused by the Chiari but is a problem in it’s own right. This raised pressure (the term they’re using for it is Benign Intracranial Hypertension or IIH) needs to be addressed, as the team have advised me that leaving it as it is would pose a risk to my sight, memory and cognitive function. They expect that addressing the pressure will be of benefit in terms of the daily pain, but how much remains to be seen. It will also cut down some of the risk involved in the decompression surgery in the future, should I decide to have it.

Here’s the part that’s a little scary for me – they have strongly recommended that I have a shunt placed in my brain to drain the excess CSF fluid down to my tummy. The hospital I’m seen at it is well known for excellent standards of Neurosurgical care and I know that my surgeon does far more complicated surgeries than this but still, I’m a little anxious at the prospect of brain surgery (I was proud of myself for getting through the ICP monitoring!). The shunt procedure has risks attached and is something I’ll live with for the rest of my life, so I’m learning as much about it as I can while I’m on the waiting list.


(Me with the pressure bolt monitoring thing attached)

But lurking behind all this in my mind are other questions – how long have the Chiari and IIH been there? If I didn’t have a history of Chronic Migraine in my own life and in the family, would these disorders have been picked up sooner? SHOULD they have been picked up sooner, despite my Migraine? 

I realise that it would probably be wise to put these questions aside, as definitive answers to them are very unlikely to be forthcoming! But still, I think they are entitled to exist and talking them out with my family and blogging about them may help me to process them. I can’t prove anything in relation to these questions, but here’s what I think/feel: I think that my long standing Migraine diagnosis caused the people treating me to attribute ALL neurological symptoms to Migraine. The specialist I had for over a decade was well-respected with good cause and often went beyond the call of duty to support me and my family, so I don’t feel angry that these conditions weren’t picked up – indeed, I believe that the Chiari may have been less of a problem at that time as my condition has deteriorated since the birth of my daughter (her delivery was hard and I suspect worsened the Chiari, though I can’t prove it). As for the pressure – was my pressure high 5 years ago, 10 years ago, 15 years ago? Does the steady and devastating increase in debilitating daily pain & symptoms over recent years mean that my pressure has been climbing during  time period? 

These questions have the potential to be the kind that circle around in your head at night but never really get answered. One thing I do firmly believe is this – it is well worth discussing with your specialist such tests as an MRI and if need be an LP to check for neurological abnormalities or pressure problems, if you’re living with Migraine that fails to respond to treatment or worsens compared to what you’re used to. Of course most of the time the outcome will be results that are all clear, but I feel that my newer diagnoses were masked by the Migraine. My specialists and I have no doubt that I personally do in fact have Migraine that I’ve inherited genetically but it is not unheard of for people with Chiari, for example, to be misdiagnosed as having Migraine and/or Fibromyalgia (check out the Mayfield Clinic Website for more details on Chiari symptoms). Of course, there may well be many others out there who, like me, have Migraine AND another neurological condition. I’m left feeling that I should have asked for tests back when my condition first deteriorated to the point where I had to stop teaching and became largely housebound (as I still am). 

Having gotten all that off my chest, it’s time to go back to my research on what to expect from life with a VP shunt.

Wishing you good luck and happy days,

Kindra x

Follow me on Instagram.

Tweet me @chroniccockney

Posts you might enjoy:

Everybody’s An Expert On Migraine.

Migraine and Coping With Hospital Stays.

Making Medical Appointments Work For You.

Birthday Beauty Haul Pt 2

If you’ve read my last post, you’ll know that I get super excited for my birthday in August and super excited again at Christmas; they are the times of year I tend to get beauty gifts and gift cards from the lovely people close to me. The Chronic Life I’m living right now means that I really wouldn’t feel right spending money on higher end beauty hauls while I’m too sick to work. But twice a year I get to indulge myself guilt-free and I don’t mind admitting that I really enjoy it. If you haven’t checked out my Birthday Beauty Haul Pt 1  post yet, you should (it includes my first ever purchases from Anastasia Beverly Hills😍).


As you can tell, part 2 of my birthday haul is made up of 4 products from Tarte. I’ve wanted to try out the brand for a long time but couldn’t justify the increased total spend when postage to the UK & taxes were factored in. When I saw the Blush Book 2, I decided that this birthday was the time to get my Tarte on!

In addition to the Blush Book 2, I ordered the animal print eyeshadow palette (empty like a Z Palette), the Amazonian Clay Full Coverage Airbrush Foundation in the shade Honey and the Airbuki Brush that’s designed to be used with the foundation.

I haven’t tested these products yet (the daily pain limits the amount of time I am well enough to sit up & apply makeup…oh how I miss working and putting my face on every day!) but as ever I couldn’t wait any longer to show you what I’ll be reviewing in upcoming posts.

It will of course get a separate post but here’s a peek inside the Blush Book 2….just look at that blushy goodness😍.

I’ll be back soon with reviews of these products and the ones from part 1 of my birthday haul. I’m so excited to try them all!

Have you hauled anything that you’re really excited about lately? 

Wishing you good luck and happy days,

Kindra x

Follow me on Instagram.

Tweet me – @chroniccockney

Note: this is not a sponsored post. All products discussed were purchased with my own money.

Birthday Beauty Haul Pt 1

I don’t often get the chance to buy multiple beauty products in one go; it’s a sad fact that being chronically ill does bad things to your disposable income! But on my birthday and at Christmas I tend to get beauty gifts and gift cards from the people close to me so I’m able to indulge in some beauty hauling. 

I’m still waiting for some goodies from Tarte but in the meantime I thought I’d share some pics of the products that have arrived and cheered up my Chronic Life. I’ll be reviewing everything individually but if there’s a shade of eyeshadow you need to know the name of right now, feel free to ask in the comments 😊.

From Makeup Geek I ordered 5 shadows to go in my palette, one of which is a foiled formula, as well as two blushes. From Clinique I repurchased a Quickliner for Eyes in Brown Black.

From Too Faced I opted for (after much deliberation & with advice from my spoonie beauty blogger buddies) the Natural Eyes palette and from Spectrum brushes I got a fan brush to use with highlight.

From Anastasia Beverly Hills I very excitedly went for the Moon Child Glow Kit and also threw in my first ABH liquid lipstick in Dusty Rose.

I’m just started to play with these products now but I couldn’t wait another minute to share these pics – swatches and full reviews coming soon!

What product have you hauled lately that you absolutely love? 

Wishing you good luck & happy days,

Kindra x

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Note: this is not a sponsored post. All products discussed were purchased with my own money.


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